I have been struggling with balancing my time. There are only so many hours in a day and I want to spend so many of them with my son, but I also need to spend quality time with my husband. My husband works anywhere from 36 to 56 hours in a week. Which means he is actually gone anywhere from 42-66 hours! That is a lot of time that I get to spend with my son and by myself. When he comes home I have a really hard time giving him time to himself, after all, I have spent more hours than I care to count watching t.v. by myself.
I guess I don’t really understand the need he has to spend time alone. I mean, I am the most enjoyable person to be around, why on earth would he want to be in the other room? =) I think that is part of the reason I started this blog. It gives me something to do that is for me while he is enjoying doing what he wants. I really have enjoyed it and am glad I started it. I have also started sewing again. I have sewed more in the last couple weeks than in the 10 years I have owned my sewing machine.
I also struggle with trying to make my husband do everything when he is home. I want him to cook and change diapers and clean and fold laundry…I think you get the point. He can get pretty mad at me because he just wants to relax. I mean, he did just work X number of hours, I guess he deserves a break. But then again, for all the hours he has been working I have worked more (staying at home is a 24/7 job). I don’t see why I can’t just sit and let him do all the work. Like I said, it is hard to balance.
We have had several heart to heart talks about it. After one discussion it was decided he needed to go to days, even if it meant he would have to work on Sunday. He currently works Sat and Sun nights and I make him get up and go to church with me. He is a grump and basically sleeps through it. We decided for the sake of our family that if he had to work Sunday that we would attend Wednesday night church together and I would go by myself (and with my son) on Sundays. It is going to be really hard to go without him. Thankfully though, he did get on days and has just one more weekend working nights.
I feel it is getting better. But does a three-sided balancing scale ever get into balance? I am currently imagining a teeter-totter with three seats, seems a little dangerous! Some days I feel like there was a good balance. Some days I just want to scream.
Advice: Don’t just expect time to balance. It takes work and planning. Set aside time, as often as possible, to be for you and your spouse.